STORIES
Wow believe it or not, I am taking the time out of my hectic lazy day to type up these 1 page stories that Kelly G, Greg L, Nick R, Patrick D, David M, and sometimes Ryan T, and Zach T all write in Physics class. Since I have a easy to update site I figured I might as well do it. And of course I always have my laptop nearby just incase. The stories incase you don't know...are written 1 line at a time with each person doing the next line around the group. However all they can see of the whole story is the previous line not the lines before that so it usually makes for a very interesting story =). So here you are and enjoy everyone. (I kept all the text the same because a lot of people don't have all the texts I have. So if you cannot read this...screw you cause you cannot read it anyway...=)
Also here is a link to a page where I put our pictures that we do sometimes instead of stories. They can be entertaining...look closely for the magic beard deflecting bullets...
Kelly= (K)
Greg= (G)
Nick= (N)
Zach= (Z)
Ryan= (R)
Brandon= (B)
David (Marble)= (D) or (M)
Patrick= (P)
Editor (Me stupid)= Ed.
17th September, 2002-
Kelly where is it????
18th September, 2002-
(K) We were going to play the best game ever!
(G) It involved sledgehammer and a X-Box (registered)
(N) And as every X-Box should be, it was destroyed
(B) So Greg decided to dump his X-Box and get a Super-Nintendo
(D) Greg truly was a blithering idiot
(P) But he was a big hit with the ladies
(K) He wasn't quite as good as Kelly though. That Kelly is awesome!
(G) Awesome like a fox! Actually, Ryan T was best
(N) Best at lying about how good an X-Box was that is (even though they aren't)
(B) So he lied and said that X-Boxes and Super-Nintendos are different
(D) He thought he was lying. but...
(P) But nothing! He was lying!
(K) He was turned over to the Spanish Inquisition and they tortured the truth out of him.
(G) "It's true!" he shouted. "I am Jesus!"
(N) Yes it is true, his name is Jesus (hey-soos)
(B) So Jesus removed his pants and revealed something grand!
(D) Jesus was hiding a rabbit in his pants!
(P) Then the rabbit bit him, but the rabbit was rabid so Jesus started foaming at the mouth (cause now he had rabies too)
(K) His disciples emulated him by being bitten by rabbits and raving about, and founded the Church of the Holy Rabies
(G) After a few days, however, they realized their ignorance and converted to Scientology
(N) But before they could do this they had to find out what Scientology was
(B) So off to the local school library to gather a new bible
(D) Unfortunately, he was waylaid on the way there and killed, by occasion, his monkey.
Ed. The ending was a little hard to read so it may be a little messed up.
19th September, 2002-
(K) The necromancer bought a wand on Resurrect Chair from the Necromancy shop
(G) He soon discovered that it was defective and tried to take it back
(N) But the Microsoft Customer Service sucked so he was forced to keep his broken X-Box
(B) So off to Microsoft he drove, in his 1973 Cadillac Deville
(M) When he got there, he kicked Bill Gates in the shin
(P) But it didn't hurt because he was wearing an X-Box as a shin guard
(K) He still lost one armor off his leg. So he cast barkskin on himself
(G) He screwed up and turned into a tree, then a dendrophiliac walked up to him
(N) But unlike most dendrophiliacs, he was "carazy" dendrophiliac.
(B) But Bob hid this from his physiologist and instead ate his fetus
(M) He had forgotten that he was allergic to fetuses
(P) So he died
(K) Then the afore-mentioned necromancer turned him into a zombie
(G) The zombie started to eat Nick's brain
(N) If only he knew that Nick's brain was poison!
(B) Be he didn't know it was poison and instead ate Nick's pants
(M) Nick's pants were very tasty
(P) Because they were covered with Nutella!
(K) The ignorant peasantry didn't know what Nutella was. They only knew one thing
(G) The barley was attacking!! They had to fight back!!
(N) So they fought back...with fuzzy bunnies
(B) The bunnies attacked in great numbers, as the convict fell
(M) The bunnies held a great celebration that night
(P) And Bill Gates wasn't invited!
(K) So he threw his own party, and nobody else was invited
(G) Excluding his monkey, of course, which got really drunk
(N) But the monkey wasn't as drunk as they thought. He knew they excluded him from the card game because of his drinking so he decided to end it all by using the Atomic bomb attached to his back to destroy the world. But the bomb didn't work so in the end he just wound up feeling like a big idiot.
Ed. Interesting ending?
20 September, 2002-
(B) It was 5th period and the dirty old man started to sneeze.
(R) As he sneezed his pants fell down revealing to Ben...
(N)...a very hairy person. He was so hairy they thought he was Bigfoot!
(G) But he had very small feet, actually
(K) He was self-conscious of his feet so he bough big shoes and stuffed them with Kleenex
(P) But then he walked funny
(M) He fell down because he walked funny
(B) And because Greg likes to attack people with his beard
(R) But then he was attacked by a lawnmower and his beard died
(N) Man there was a lot of blood! It was gross
(G) The sticky liquid was everywhere!
(P) But Kelly came and ate it all
(M) Kelly ate too much, and had to have his stomach removed
(B) So he started using stom-o-matic in place of his missing stomach
(R) Then a band of Middle Eastern men mooned him
(N) Now that was a full moon
(G) It was almost as bright as day
(K) It was so close that for our purposes, it was as bright as day
(M) It was so close, it out shone the sun
(B) So Bob walked away from the divine bovine
(R) And realized his pants were still in (something) and so there he went
(N) Unfortunately the only transportation available was by donkey
(G) It was a magical donkey, with dual rocket-engines
(K) The engines malfunctioned and the donkey plummeted towards Earth
(M) The donkey activated the parachute
(B) And in doing this, accidentally fell off the ICBM (Inter-Continental-Ballistic-Missle)
(R) But luckily a dimensional portal to India where he met Phillip
(N) Incase you didn't know Phillip was a door
(G) He went on to marry Jane the window and lived happily ever after
Ed. Boy this one jumps around...thanks Ryan =)
26 September, 2002
(K) IT was Greg's birthday and he was happy
(G) Except it really wasn't true, Brandon was lying
(N) And because of his lying the world was a troubled place
(B) A troubled place where Jesus doesn't groom his beard
(P) But he still looked like Greg!
(K) This surprised the real Greg, who felt this was an odd birthday surprise.
(G) He felt a bit guilty, but he enjoyed it anyway
(N) And who wouldn't enjoy it?
(B) We know Greg's beard would enjoy it because he is Jesus
(M) Greg's beard was a dork, satanic, Jesus, though. So he killed all the cute, peaceful, man-devouring bear liches
(P) But the bear-liches would not be so easily killed
(K) Indeed. They would rule the Ukraine for years before Greg discovered how to kill them.
(G) Actually it was his beard that figured it out
(N) For some reason his beard's intelligence was quite underestimated
(B) As the beard jumped from his face and instantly interfaced with the PC
(M) In one hour, the beard had control of the electronic world.
(P) Not to be confused with the electric world!!
(K) It is very hard to tell them apart. Only Greg can do it consistently
(G) Marble could do it too, but he sucked at it.
(N) He sucked at is just like everyone else
(B) Sadly the cow did not appreciate it because he was a male
(M) Feeling sorry for the cow, Greg's beard castrated it
(P) Next on his list was Marble. Yeah, off to castrate Marble
(K) Marble clutched his groin and cried out in pain
(G) ...and pleasure
(N) This pleasure was so pleasing that the pleasure lasted forever!
Ed. Poor Marble...got to feel bad for him
Ed. Since we have been making sonnets (short songs) in Reading and Research, the physics group decided to make on of our own...about...Mr. Dykema...also...I left of the writers names because it was a mix up.
My love for my class is ever growing,
For only they can brighten my day.
Even if my students wern't exactly all knowing
I gain joy knowing they will stay.
Everyday I feel their frustration
But when the cow arrives, everything is okay.
The cow releases all of the tention,
On this wonderful "essay is due" day!
I can’t fathom life without this bunch.
Just seeing them gives my life value.
That love for them makes me hungry for lunch.
But could I eat with love so strong towards you?
When I reached for your love, it was a great miss.
The question remians, "Do we get extra credit for this?"
Marble's Note: "I think we should. I mean we could have been wasting time in physics."
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Last Updated: Thursday, April 17, 2003