Ham Radio is a great hobby!
The seven stages of a DXer
#1 Pre-DX: Uses multi-band antenna at a modest height, Operates barefoot, has a Novice Ticket, Wonders why
the FCC wastes 200 kHz of 10m Novice band on CW, screams into the microphone, gripes about
the other license classes poaching the Novice bands, has the coveted WAC award, (Worked all
channels), Married to his first wife.
#2 Beginning DXer: Uses a multi-band vertical, casually reads ads for amplifiers, has Technician Plus ticket,
has discovered mike gain control knob, has coveted WAC award (worked all continents), the wife
enjoys listening to interesting people with foreign accents.
#3 General DXer: Uses a small tri-bander at 35 feet, checks used amplifiers at hamfests and local radio stores,
has General Class ticket, has discovered rig has a speech compression & 2 VFO's, has heard of the
Packet Cluster, gripes that everybody's speaking Spanish on 15m, has the coveted DXCC award,
Wife begins to question background RF on telephone while talking to mother.
#4 Upscale DXer: Uses a large tri-bander at 70 feet, buys a linear, has Advance Class ticket, has discovered
there's lots of DX on CW, uses Packet Cluster & contributes his share of DX spots, has coveted
WAZ award, wife is annoyed about RF wiping out boyfriend's conversation on telephone.
#5 Serious DXer: Uses monobanders on separate towers at 90 feet, buys a bigger linear, has Extra Class ticket
has discovered all secrets of winning in pileups, have separate computers for Packet Cluster & rig
control/logging program, gripes about lower-class ops poaching DX below 14025, has coveted
5 band DXCC award, wife escapes RF on telephone by spending night at boyfriends apartment.
#6 Big Gun DXer: Uses stacked monobanders at 120 feet, trades in linear for full-bore Alpha, has Extra Class
ticket with his initials as call sign suffix, obliterates pileups, operates entire system from easy chair
via computerized remote control, gripes about 2nd wife not cooking like 1st wife, has coveted
5 band WAZ award, makes Honor Roll, 2nd wife doesn't understand why she has to use pay phone
at the Shell station down the street.
#7 Ultimate DXer: Used rubber ducky-in bath tub, is moved by 3rd wife to suite at Bid-a-Wee rest home, has
Extra Class ticket but doesn't remember why, hears pileups in the plumbing, operates remote
control for color TV, gripes about Republicans, Democrats, nurses, UFO's full of little green men,
has worked em all, but can't figure how to hang the certificates on the rubber walls, 3rd wife
throws entire station in dumpster and converts shack into solarium.