Lather and Rinse and Repeat

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Lather and Rinse and Repeat
lyrics © 1993 by Dr. H. Paul Shuch
sung to the tune of "Old Rosin the Beau" (Irish traditional ca. 1830)

Click on the speaker icon to hear this melody

The instructions are right on the bottle
In lettering clear but discrete,
And the profits they drive to full throttle:
"Lather and rinse and repeat."

CHORUS:

Sing lather and rinse and repeat, me lads,
Lather and rinse and repeat.
From the same folks who brought you the TV ads:
Lather and rinse and repeat.

The shampoo makers had a convention,
And a great gem of wisdom did tap:
If the public will do as we mention
We can double the sales of our crap.

The return on investment was marginal,
Red ink on the old balance sheet,
When they dreamed up those words diabolical:
Lather and rinse and repeat.

Repeat is what we have been told to do,
Instead of "Continue at will."
A programmer got it into a loop
And I guess that she's shampooing still.

I teach courses on topics illogical,
And grading exams has me beat.
So on top of the papers illegible
I write "This is an F. Now repeat."

After spending a night with my paramour
I could scarcely stand up on my feet.
As I went to wash up, she cried out for more:
"Go lather and rinse. Let's repeat."

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