The Con Without Any Rooms

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The Con Without Any Rooms
lyrics © 2004 by Dr. H. Paul Shuch
sung to the tune of "The Wreck of the Old 97" (traditional)

Click on the speaker icon to hear this melody

Let me tell you the story of a Boston WorldCon
And the filker who signed up late.
He rang up the Sheraton to book a room, and found
Not one was free on that date.

Chorus:

Did he ever check in? No, he never checked in,
To his everlasting doom.
He may sleep all weekend on the streets of Boston,
At the con without any rooms.

On the other side of the convention center
Is a Marriott Hotel.
So our loyal fan called to book a room there,
Finding it was full as well.

Our intrepid filker sought to solve the dilemma
By sleeping in the filking suite,
But a raucous strumming kept him tossing and turning;
It was quieter out on the street.

Next he wandered into the role-playing game room,
Thinking it would be cozy and nice,
Caught thirty-nine winks, and was rudely awakened
By the rattle of twelve-sided dice.

In the film room, he figured, they'd be screening the classics,
But he'd sleep there anyhow.
He awoke in the morning to the sweet smell of napalm
And the last reel of "Apocalypse Now."

Now you filkers in fandom, better heed my warning:
Hotel deadlines you should not ignore.
If you want a room with a bed at a WorldCon,
Better book it the year before.

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