The Ballad of the Cross-Dressing Coder

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The Ballad of the Cross-Dressing Coder
lyrics © 2002 by Dr. H. Paul Shuch
sung to the tune of "The Ballad of Jed Clampett," copyright © 1962 by Lester Flatt and Earl Scruggs

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Let me tell you the story of a fan named Glenn.
We met at a con, but I couldn't say when.
He's something of a hunk, and hetero, I guess,
But the only thing is, he likes to cross-dress.

(Spoken): Skirts, that is.

Glenn's certainly male. He's bearded and tall,
Isn't trying to be a woman at all.
But when he's at a con, he dresses as he feels,
In a pretty plaid skirt, and stockings and heels.

(Spoken): Pumps, that is.

Glenn had a good job to support his fannish ways,
Writing software for a living, most working days.
He's a pretty good coder, I've heard it said,
So what should it matter that he dresses in red?

(Spoken): Bright, that is.

Now, times they got tough, as they sometimes do,
And Glenn had to go for a job interview
At a big software company just down the road,
But Glenn didn't know that they had a dress code.

(Spoken): Rules, that is.

Well, Glenn's friend worked for that same company,
So he asked, "Do you have any tips for me?
Any way to impress your personnel guy?
Like, maybe I should come in a suit and a tie."

(Spoken): Square, that is.

"Oh, no," said the friend, "we're informal. That means
That most of us work in a t-shirt and jeans.
Just dress for the interview anyway you'd like."
So six-foot Glenn came in seven-inch spikes.

(Spoken): Heels, that is.

Now, Glenn was impeccable, and nobody's slob,
But they didn't hire him for that programming job.
The moral of the story: If you want to stand a chance
Getting hired by mundanes -- better show up in pants.

Filker's Note: This tale is mostly true. Glenn is a real person, known to most of East Coast filk fandom. He is a good guitarist, a crafty coder, and a lousy dresser!

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