The Hunting Song

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The Hunting Song
lyrics © 2006 by Dr. H. Paul Shuch
sung to the tune of "The Hunting Song," © 1956 by Tom Lehrer

It happened without warning
On a frosty Texas morning:
They were out there hunting quail
With a plan that could not fail.
It started small but ended up a national disgrace
When Dick Cheney shot a lawyer in the face.

I'll say this for the vice president,
He wasn't even hesitant.
Now everyone can see
He's a W M D.
He closed the breech, took careful aim, and stepped back just one pace.
Then Dick Cheney shot a lawyer in the face.

[Bridge:]

Reporters didn't know it,
TV didn't show it
For nigh unto 24 hours or more.
The White House finally leaked it,
Dirty little secret,
To take all of our minds off the war.

[Alternate Bridge:]

The officials they were pissed
That Cheney nearly missed.
Those Texas Rangers really are mean.
But you can guess their reason:
Tax attorney season
Doesn't start until April fifteen.

The attorney he did not complain.
It's all part of some grand campaign
To drum up sympathy
For Bush and his VP.
But it will not wash! For November we all brace,
Hoping mainly
That Dick Cheney
Shot his party in the face.

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