She's Almost a Woman

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She's Almost a Woman
lyrics © 2008 by Dr. H. Paul Shuch
sung to the tune of "She's Always a Woman"
Copyright © 1977 by Billy Joel
Inspired by Vida Boheme, Patrick Swayze's character in the film
"To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar"

You shouldn't be fooled by the way that she dresses,
With sequins and baubles and long flowing tresses.
As you'll figure out when she stands up to pee,
She's built like a guy, but she's almost a woman to me.

This beautiful lass is a pageant contender.
She has way too much class to be stuck in one gender.
So strong and yet gentle, as any can see,
I know she's a guy, but she's almost a woman to me.

Chorus:

Lovely transvestite in drag,
And she carries a bag
(From Versace, of course.)
Sometimes demure and quite shy,
Yet she fights like a guy,
A formidable force.

Her feminine airs are her chosen persona.
She doesn't want surgery, still gets a boner.
Her makeuep is flawless, I'm sure you'll agree.
Her name may be Bruce, but her color's chartreuse,
And she's almost a woman to me.

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