| ACURA |
Another Crummy Useless Rotten Automobile |
|
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America |
|
All Customers Undergo Repair Anxiety |
|
Automobile Causes Unusual Road Accidents |
|
Awful, Crappy, Unreliable, Rusty Automobile |
|
Any Child Understands Real Automobiles |
|
All Cars Usually Require Adjustment |
|
Awful Crappy Unreliable Rusty Automobile |
| AMC |
All Makes Combined |
|
A Major Cost |
|
Another Major Catastrophe |
|
Ain't My Car |
| ASTON MARTIN |
Anglophiles Seek To Own, Now Many Are Really Trashy, I Notice |
| AUDI |
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence |
|
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented |
|
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention |
|
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence |
|
Automotive Unsafe Designs Inc. |
| BEETLE |
Battered Everywhere Expect To Lose Engine |
|
By Everyone's Experience They Last Eternally |
| BOWTIE |
Big Over Weight Tired Impotent Engines |
| BMW |
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder |
|
Beautiful Masterpiece on Wheels |
|
Break My Windows |
|
Brutal Money Waster |
|
Big Money Waste |
|
Broken Money Waster |
|
Blasphemes Motorized Wreck |
|
Born Moderately Wealthy |
|
Big Money Works |
|
Bought My Wife |
|
Be My Wife |
|
Brings Me Women |
|
Badly Made Wobbler |
|
Bavarian Manure Wagon |
|
Bash My Windshield |
|
Bend More Wheels |
|
Better'n My Wife |
|
Bite My Wallet |
|
Bowel Movement Wagon |
|
Break My Wind |
|
Borrow Money Weekly |
|
Bring More Wrenches |
|
Brought My Wrench |
| BUGATTI |
Bangin' Underground Gangsta Attitude Trumps Techy Image |
|
Breaks down Under Great Abnormal Tension That is Inconvenient |
| BUICK |
Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer |
|
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer |
|
Big Ugly Import Car Killer |
|
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King |
| CADILLAC |
Crazy Aunt Drives It Like A Lunatic Across the Country |
| CAMARO |
Can't America Make A Real One |
| CAPRI |
Can Any Person Repair It |
| CHEVY |
Change Heads, Engine, or Valves Yearly |
|
Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet |
|
Your Vehicle Expels Hydro-Carbons - (Backwards) |
| CITR?EN |
Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters |
| CHEVROLET |
Cranks Hard Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time |
|
Cracks Heads Eats Valves Races Only Little Electric Toys |
|
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips |
|
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips |
|
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time |
|
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques |
| CHRYSLER |
Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair |
|
Can Hear Revs Yet Sense Little Engine Reaction |
| COROLLA |
Car Of Rust On Last Legs Again |
| CORTINA |
Crappy Old Recycled Trash In New Attire |
| DAEWOO |
Damn Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally |
| DATSUN |
Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips |
|
Driven At Top Speed Until Nackered |
| DODGE |
Drinks Oil, Drops Gears Everywhere |
|
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere |
|
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires |
|
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter |
|
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater |
|
Daily Overhauls Do Get Expensive |
|
Driving Our Dodge Gets Expensive |
|
Dear Old Dad's Garage Experiment |
| EDSEL |
Every Day Something Else Leaks |
| FERRARI |
Fragile Expensive Rides Repel All Reasonable Individuals |
|
From Extra Rusty Rubbish And Rude Italians |
|
Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively |
| FIAT |
Fix It Again Tony |
|
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation |
|
Failure In Automotive Technology |
|
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology |
|
Fix It All the Time |
|
Found In A Toilet |
|
Fart in a Tin |
|
Fix It Again Tomorrow |
|
Fits In A Truck |
| FORD |
Fix Or Repair Daily |
|
First On Race Day |
|
First On Recall Day |
|
Flip Over Read Directions |
|
Found On the Road - Dead |
|
Found Off Road Daily |
|
Fast Only Rolling Downhill |
|
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto |
|
Frequent Overhaul Rapid Deterioration |
|
Fast Only Rolling Downhill |
|
Forced On Reluctant Drivers |
|
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable |
|
Freakin Off Road Disaster |
|
Freakin Ornery Road Demon |
|
Freakin Off Road Demon |
|
F***ed On Race Day |
|
F***ed Over Road Debris |
|
F***ed Over Rebuilt Dodge |
|
F***en Owner Really Dumb |
|
F***en Over Rated Disaster |
|
F***er Only Runs Downhill |
|
Driver Returns On Foot - (Backwards) |
|
First On Rust and Deterioration |
|
Fault Of R&D |
|
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA |
|
Fabricated Of Refried Dung |
|
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma |
|
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled |
|
Fork Over Repair Dough |
|
Forced On Reluctant Drivers |
|
Frequent Overhaul Rapid Deterioration |
| GEO |
Good Engineering Overlooked |
| GM |
General Maintenance |
|
Great Mistake |
|
Generally Miserable |
|
Garbage Motors |
| GMC |
Garage Mans Companion |
|
Generally Mediocre Cars |
|
Get More Chicks |
|
Get More Crap |
|
Gotta Mechanic Coming? |
| GTO |
Gas, Tires, Oil |
| HOLDEN |
Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now |
| HONDA |
Had One Never Did Again |
|
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating |
|
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles |
|
Horsepower Option Never Did Appear |
|
Hold-Overs Not Doing Anything |
|
How Odd, No Damn Acceleration |
| HUMMER |
Huge Ugly Mother Mostly Eats Resources |
| HYUNDAI |
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive |
|
Here?s Y U Never Drive An Import |
| ISUZU |
It Sucks Unless Zero Used |
|
Its servicers understand zilch usually |
| JAGUAR |
Just Another Gearbox Under Annual Repair |
|
Just A Guess U Are Rich |
| JEEP |
Just Empty Every Pocket |
|
Just Enough Extra Parts |
|
Just Eats Every Penny |
|
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly |
|
Just Expect Excessive Problems |
| KIA |
Korean Idiot's Attempt |
|
Keep Inside Asia |
| LOTUS |
Lots Of Troubles Usually Serious |
|
Lots Of Tits Und Sex |
|
Leaking Oil Tears Up Starter |
|
Lectronics Or Timing Usually Shorts |
|
Send Us Tips On Lucas - (Backwards) |
| MAZDA |
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along |
|
Made After Zero Design Analysis |
| MASERATI |
Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements |
| MCLAREN |
Motor Can't Lug And Runs Empty Now |
|
Motor Cranks Long And Roars Even Now |
|
My Car Loves A Race Every Night |
| MERCEDES-BENZ |
Mechanical Engineers Regret Choices, Especially Designing Expensive Stuff, But Executives Need Zillions |
| MIATA |
My Intention Always To Accelerate |
| MINI |
Moron Inside Notably Insane |
| MITSUBISHI |
May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside |
| MG |
More Garbage |
|
Mostly Garbage |
| MOPAR |
Mostly Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously |
|
Mostly Old Parts And Rust |
|
Mostly Old Paint And Rust |
|
Most Often Passed At Races |
|
Move Over People Are Racing |
|
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly |
|
My Only Problems Are Repairs |
| MUSTANG |
Motor Under Strain Transmission Almost No Good |
| NISSAN |
Need I Say Something About Nothing |
|
No Insult Is Sufficiently Severe To Analyze A Nissan |
|
Nobody Insures Since Stolen Almost Nightly |
| PINTO |
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook |
| OLDSMOBILE |
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday |
|
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment |
| PAGANI |
Prissy Aristocrats Gather Accumulated Net Income |
| PLYMOUTH |
Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood |
|
Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood |
| PONTIAC |
Poor Old Nut Thinks It's A Cadillac |
| PORSCHE |
Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything |
| RIMAC |
Realistically It Makes Anyone Crash |
| ROLLS |
Regal Opulent Lovely Luxury Sedan |
| SAAB |
Swedish Automobile - Always Broken |
|
Such An Arrogant Bastard |
|
Send Another Automobile Back |
|
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown |
|
Some Ass Actually Bought it |
|
Sad Attempt At Beauty |
| SUBARU |
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually |
| TESLA |
Technology Excesses Seem Lame Actually |
|
Truly Electric Supercars. Limitless Acceleration! |
|
Totally Electric Sedan. Laudable Achievement! |
|
Thanks Elon S Looks Amazing |
|
Torque Endlessly Satisfying Leadfoot Addiction |
|
The Energy Systems Longterm Answer |
|
Tax Evasion Solution Luxury Automobile |
| TOYOTA |
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto |
|
The One You Ought To Avoid |
| TRIUMPH |
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help! |
|
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt! |
| VOLVO |
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object |
|
Vehicles Of Low Velocity Ownership |
|
Very Old Lazy Vehicle Owner |
| VW |
Virtually Worthless |
| VOLKSWAGEN |
Vehicle Owners ? Losers Knowingly Suffering With All German Engineered Nonsense |