Haibao's Excellent (DPRK) Adventure

What started off as one ridiculous joke picture soon morphed into an absurd quest to get Haibao, the Shanghai Expo mascot, in as many inappropriate pictures in North Korea as possible...

---------------------------------------

Hitching a ride into the Hermit Kingdom with Americans who inexplicably want to visit the country more than once.

---------------------------------------

In front of Mansudae Grand Monument, or as some people call it, Kim Il Sung hailing a cab.

---------------------------------------

"The Mass Games are massive," Haibao observes.

---------------------------------------

Haibao wonders aloud whether or not the Juche Tower is really taller than the Washington Monument, as the North Koreans claim. He politely requests more proof (he also wants to know how a country that prides itself so much on "juche" can accept so much foreign aid, but that's another issue).

---------------------------------------

In front of the Monument to Three Charters for National Reunification, on Reunification Highway south of Pyongyang. "Korea has as much chance of being unified by 2012 as a car has of passing by on this road during my photo shoot," sneers on overconfident Haibao.

---------------------------------------

At the DMZ in front of a giant "Korea is one!" sign. Visibly happy that the North Korean soldiers haven't shot that smile off his face.

---------------------------------------

Exploring actual weaponry from the Korean War in the Victorious Fatherland Liberation War Museum.

---------------------------------------

Not so effectively hiding in the ruins of this downed American fighter jet to avoid capture.

---------------------------------------

Aboard the captured American spy ship, the USS Pueblo, feigning interest in the hilariously over the top anti-American propaganda film that all visitors to the ship must cringe through before the actual tour of the ship can begin.

---------------------------------------

Trying to send a top secret message back from the USS Pueblo to Washington before anyone notices he's missing.

---------------------------------------

Manning the USS Pueblo's rear gun in case the American rescue team finally arrives after all these decades of waiting.

---------------------------------------

Laying claim to being the first Haibao plush to ever visit the city of Hamhung. Thrilled to be photographed in front of a mural of the Great Leader and Dear Leader in the Hamhung Grand Theatre. Kindly asks that he be known as the "Cute Leader" from now on. Thankful that his fate is not the same as the Self Defense Corpsman starring in the revolutionary opera he is about to watch.

---------------------------------------

Lake Samilpo. He was going to stay for only one day but the scenery was so amazing he decided to stay for three.

---------------------------------------

Getting ready to board an Air Koryo charter flight to Samjiyon in the northern part of North Korea. Claims he is more airworthy than this old Tupolev bucket of bolts.

---------------------------------------

Opting to wait on the bus at Mt Paektu in the far north of North Korea while stupid tourists decide to climb the mountain.

---------------------------------------

Marveling at the Samjiyon Grand Monument, the largest collection of statues in all of North Korea.
(yet somehow managing to keep his mouth closed)

---------------------------------------

Visiting the birthplace of the Dear Leader (yeah, right) at the base of "Jong Il Peak".

---------------------------------------

Driven to alcoholism by the deplorable standards of living in northern North Korea in Samjiyon. Surprised that this vodka from the USSR (as it says on the label) is still available for sale in North Korea despite the fact that the USSR ceased to exist decades ago.

---------------------------------------

Surveying the border between North Korea and China. Wondering if someone threw him really hard if he could reach the other side.

---------------------------------------

Inconspicuously adding $10,000 in street value to this tiger sculpture at Mansudae Art Studio in Pyongyang.

---------------------------------------

The first plush mascot to ever lay eyes on majesty that is the Potonggong River Improvement Monument in Pyongyang.