Dear THE DX MAGAZINE:

   I just received K1BV’new DX Awards Directory, an excellent work, listing over 2,400 awards. However, one for which I would already qualify is missing, and I am suggesting that a civic-minded and enterprising fellow should sponsor it, promising that I would apply for it.
   I recommend the following a set of rules for a three level program:

1. THE SMALL DUPE AWARD should be awarded for obtaining 10 points. No cards are required; just a list of 10 contacts made and logged with various slims and pirates and the amount of donation, if any, was sent with each QSL request.
Each request sent through the bureau counts one point and the ones sent directly with self-addressed envelopes and a couple of green stamps will yield two points.
If the applicant received a no-good QSL card , like my P5RS7, allegedly from North Korea, it will count three points.
Each contact with Don Miller or Roman Stepanenko a.k.a. Romeo, from one of their unlicensed fantasy trips, or operating from a different country than it was claimed, would count for four points.
 
2. THE BIG SCHNOOK AWARD will be given for totaling 30 points, counting as above,
      including five points for working and receiving a QSL card from a ghost of a long
      deleted and not yet reinstated country, such as my ZC6B, any Italian operating as
      0S1A and claiming that he is in the independent Principality of Seborga, or any
      sharpie operating from North Cyprus as 1B1NCC saying that it is a separate
      country. Additionally, five points should be given for each insurance contact made
      with the same slim or pirate station.

3. THE GREAT SUCKER AWARD should be awarded for making 50 points, counting as
      above, plus five points for each questionable operation accepted for DXCC, such as
      my XY0RR card. Another five points should be given for each received good QSL for
      which a donation was sent, but no contact was ever made, like my “...” card. (I may
      be a great sucker, but I am not stupid enough to fill in the blank.)

A 10-point bonus should be given toward any of the above three awards for a QSO made with UB5JRR, a callsign that vanished under mysterious circumstances, or with AH0M is Saipan, with a mailing address listed in Callbook as Southhold, NY, created as a similarly obscure event. Both calls allegedly belong to a man inspired by a work of Shakespeare.
As one who followed the rule “work first and worry later,” I diligently accumulated many points for these awards.
The fee should bee around $20.00, payable in any convertible hard currency or not convertible play money that many countries are issuing these days; IRCs, both correctly and incorrectly stamped, even the ones not stamped at all; personal checks drawn on any off-shore bank. Fresh and crispy Xerox copies of good banknotes should also be accepted. Confederate money, sacks of rubles, as well as I.O.U.s from friends and family members should also be honored.
The $20.00 fee may seem to be too stiff, but that much of genuine, good looking banknotes I sent to a bunch of Ukrainians and Bulgarians for a couple of 5A1A cards, and now I am a Great Sucker, but no award to show for it.
In conclusion, if my modest suggestion has offended anybody, I am sorry, but I intended to do so.

Respectfully submitted.
George  WB2AQC