The Legend of Chaucer and the Anchor

By Gary Johanson, WD4NKA

Yours Truly

While sifting through some medeival documents, there came to light what appeared to be an appendage to Chaucer's Cantebury Tales, which in the translucency of the vellum upon which it was meticulously inscribed caught my attention. For in this document lies the secrets of a part of Amateur Radio Lore which has hitherto remained unknown, buried beneath piles of ancient IBM punch cards and vintage daisy wheels.

This is the lost story of Chaucer, probably written by somebody like him, who braved the great North Sea to visit the fabled "Norsk Hamfest", which, as legend has it, was the scene of wild and unbridled revelry. To the civilised Englishe mind this was a Barbaric and Pagan ritual, but to our friend Chaucer, or someone like him, it was just one more excuse to spend the weekend with the guys.

As the story unfolds, our hero, brave Chaucer, embarks on a chartered roundship in the company of "bonnie knights" as he braves the great North Sea to land somewhere in Norge, pays the "Old Men" behind the concession cage, and enters into a realm of wanton excitement, coloured lights, and extravagent spending. Our hero confronts the mysterious and heavy contraptions loaded upon groaning tables, bearing mystical names, with prices so high they exceed our hero's ability to pay for the trip home again.

But, being caught up in the frenzie, and ignoring all reason our hero buys up everything in sight and lugs it onto the little roundship, it's captain becoming very concerned they might well sink with the weight.

Alas! Our hero is caught up in a fearful storm at sea, and in spite of the best efforts of the brave English crew, all hands and passengers must abandon ship, and the weight of the "Boxes of Sorceries" drags the doomed little roundship to the bottom of the storm tossed sea.

The effectiveness of the tremendous weight of Chaucer's purchases was not lost upon the Norsemen, as we shall see as we read the Modern Translation of "The Legend of Chaucer and the Anchor", or, "How the Boatanchors got their Names".

The Legend of Chaucer and the Anchor ( Die Nordischer Emfaengerlied ) I Tales are passed from old to young when Knights were men, and deeds were done but yet untold the Legend goes of Chaucer and his Radios Brave Chaucer and his Radios II Come along my lads, to see we Bonnie Knights in company across the sea of Northern Gale on wooden ships of old we sail on wooden ships of old we sail Amidst the Gates are Men of sage that sit behind yon entrance cage for tribute must we cast in coin and enter the abode therein and enter the abode therein III For magic are the lights we see and men exult with voices glee exchanging all their purse's gold to carry off what they can hold to carry off what they can hold Behold, good man behind thy Board what sorcery in boxes stored? that causes thee with brazen face to charge me an amazing price to charge me an amazing price IV Hallowed names are spoken here and bid us thence to enter near the tables, long that bear the Ton of Valiant and Hammarlund of Valiant and Hammarlund The price is all that we retain to carry us back home again! Despite fair Logic's inward call he shoots the wad and buys them ALL against his better judgement, all. V Aboard our mighty ships of wood we sail again, though understood the Captain warns "the weight, I think may cause our wooden boat to sink may cause our wooden boat to sink" Down the Mainsail! Haul her in! O hear the fearful cries of men that man our good ship through the gail now weighted down, and cannot sail now weighted down, and cannot sail Alas all hands! Amidships we do try and pull the lifeboat free Abandon Ship! and all below to Neptune's resting place doth go to Neptune's resting place doth go VI So to the bottom they did go all of Chaucer's Radios though wind and gale their powers cast the mighty weight did hold them fast the mighty weight did hold them fast There was a day when Knights were bold of whom many ballads told but to this day the Norsemen chant and name their Anchors "Valiant" and name their Anchors "Valiant" Gary comes from a long line of Swedish and German storytellers, musicians, and Luftwaffe funkers.