Department of Etymology

Charlottesville, Virginia

During all televised football and basketball games involving either the University of Virginia or Virginia Tech, the commentators never tire of asking the questions - "What is a Hoo?", "What is a Hokie?" The following account may help clarify the etymology of the terms.

The derivation of "Hoo" and "Hokie" goes back to the Garden of Eden. Genesis recounts the story of God bringing every beast of the field and every fowl of the air to Adam and "whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof".

It seems that Adam was having trouble coming up with enough names for all the different animals. He did fairly well with "cow" and "dog" but he had difficulty naming animals like "bobolink" and "kinkajou". He obviously needed help.

At the same time, there was a great deal of dissention among the birds to determine which was the wisest. The Owl was arguing with the Gobbler over which was the smarter and which should be allowed to assist Adam in the "name game". God became tired of hearing the incessant arguments between the Gobbler and the Owl and issued a decree. "FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, THE GOBBLER IS THE WISEST OF THE ANIMALS. THE GOBBLER WILL ASSIST ADAM IN THE NAMING OF ALL EARTH'S CREATURES." While the Owl was somewhat distraught by this decision, God agreed that the Owl would be given the consolation of being the only creature that could speak in the human tongue. The only provision being that the Owl would only be allowed to speak a single word.

So it came to pass that the intelligent and discerning Gobbler was designated to help Adam name all the animals. But Adam tested God by asking, "What is this creature you have sent to assist me?" Since God was getting a little tired of answering silly questions about basic things He replied, "THAT'S A HOKIE".

Adam, assisted by the inventive Hokie, proceeded to name all the animals from the aardvark to the zebu and everything in between.

Just when Adam thought he had finished his arduous task, a herd of elephants thundered by and left a gigantic pile of droppings in their wake. Adam, not being particularly coordinated, managed to step right into a nearby pile. "What in the #%@&*# is that?" he thundered. At that point the Owl piped up and said, "Hoo".

From that fateful day onward the names have stuck. "Hokie" is a name blessed by God and "Hoo" is a putrid pile of pachyderm poop.

Virtuous T. Jefferson, Ph.D.
Chairperson, Department of Etymology
The Lawn, The College, The University

An Old Hokie
P.S.Warren
CE, '67