REDNECK TOP 40
These are the "TOP 40" things you would NEVER hear a redneck say
(Not ever, no matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far South they've wandered, not ever)
- 40. Oh I just couldn't, heck, she's only sixteen.
- 39. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
- 38. Duct tape won't fix that.
- 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
- 36. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
- 35. We don't keep firearms in this house.
- 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
- 33. You can't feed that to the dog.
- 32. I thought Graceland was tacky.
- 31. No kids in the back of the pickup. It's just not safe.
- 30. Wrasslin's fake.
- 29. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
- 28. We're vegetarians.
- 27. Do you think my gut is too big?
- 26. I'll have grapefruit & grapes instead of biscuits & gravy.
- 25. Honey, we don't need another dog.
- 24. Who's Richard Petty?
- 23. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
- 22. Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
- 21. Spittin'is such a nasty habit.
- 20. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
- 19. Trim the fat off that steak.
- 18. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
- 17. The tires on that truck are too big.
- 16. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
- 15. I've got it all on the C drive.
- 14. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
- 13. Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
- 12. My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
- 11. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
- 10. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
- 9. Checkmate!
- 8. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
- 7. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
- 6. Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
- 5. I don't have a favorite college team.
- 4. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
- 3. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
- 2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
- 1. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight.
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