CIT: Real men say "No" to dangerous desires in order to say "yes" to God’s demands!

Introduction: I read this past Sunday about a new cable network show entitled The Man Show. It’s purpose is to provide comedy entertainment for men, real men. The show is described by Michael Story from the Arkansas Democrat Gazette like this, "Each beer-swilling, belching, joyously woman degrading episode opens with a ‘manologue’ and ends with girls in slow motion on a trampoline." The show is aimed at the very best market for advertisers-predominately young and male. While the show does all this as satire and tongue in cheek it still is sending the message that being a man, a real man in 1999 is little more than a mere refinement of the Neanderthal image we were supposedly rejecting.

Further proof is seen on any advertisement of professional wrestling. What was once a basic morality play confined to a boxing ring has now become a prime proponent of cheap porn and sadistic violence marketed to hormone raging adolescent boys. The message is clear real men treat women as objects for male pleasure and real men solve their problems with aggression. You would think that with all the information about equality for women that our culture would have advanced. We just seem to go backwards.

What does it mean to be a real man? I am very aware that even asking that question can raise the fear that I am going to propose some idea that would lower the value of a women. I assure you that could be nothing further from the truth. On this Father’s Day I pray that I can clearly define one aspect of what it means to be a Christian man. In spite of the confusion over our roles and definitions about what it means to be a real man, one thing it means is that real men have learned to say, "No!". Real men say no to dangerous desires in order to say yes to God’s demands.

While the passage read earlier clearly applies to both men and women I want us to use it as an encouragement for men, real men. I Peter 2:11-12 deals with Peter’s concern about how those to whom he is writing will live their life outside the Christian community. He wants these believers to understand that even though they are living with constant pressure in an unbelieving hostile world that they and we must live lives that can be recognized as thoroughly Christlike in character especially by non-Christians. The reputation of Jesus Christ was at stake when they failed to live a life marked by discipline of their desires. Saying no to their lower desires was essential to saying yes to the highest desires God had for them.

Men, can you say no to the desires and drives in your life? Peter says, "Abstain from fleshly lusts". This means "to hold back from constantly". It is a daily commitment, hourly commitment to be in control of "fleshly lusts". This is a word for strong desires that come from within a person. Peter adds that these desires come from the part of us that doesn’t want God’s control. This can be a desire for too much of a good thing or an evil thing. The Christian is to not be under the control of any drive or desire that is not submitted to God. We are to be the one in control of those drives and desires. We are to be people who say "no" to every desire of our nature that refuses God’s control if that desire places us outside God’s will for our lives. Real men know how to say "No" to dangerous desires that when yielded to place you outside of God’s will. Real men say "No" to dangerous desires in order to say "yes" to God’s best.

There are three important principles found in this text that give us reasons why real men say "No" in order to say "yes."

1. Real men say "No" because of who we are. (v. 11a)

Who are we? Peter says we are "aliens", persons who make a quick visit to a place with no intention of making their stay permanent. The Kosovar refugees have been aliens in the countries they have escaped to because of the fighting in their country. They want to only go home to their homes, villages and communities. They don’t belong where they are now. They don’t want to stay. As believers in Jesus Christ we do not belong here. We ourselves are aliens to this planet. Our home ,our real home, is in heaven. That is our identity.

Peter also uses the word "strangers" to describe our identity as Christians. A stranger in this term are those who have no legal rights or legal status in the place where they are because they are residents elsewhere. Like the refugees who fled Kosovo were stripped of their rights when they entered another country so believers are not citizens of this world. We have by our acceptance of Christ renounced our identity as a citizen of this nation and world.

When you put the two terms together you get a picture that the Christian is someone who is in this world for only a short time, a temporary period and does not have the status as a citizen. They are here today and gone tomorrow. They do not put down firm roots. They belong to another country.

The danger of anyone being out of their country too long is that they can lose their identity and become assimilated into the culture of that country in which they are living. They become like those around them. They lose their uniqueness and forget their heritage. That can happen to Christians and especially Christian men. We can get so used to the world that we forget that we don’t belong here. Our values and character are to reflect a citizenship in another country. Real men understand this and choose to say " no" because they understand that who they are in Christ will affect how they live in this world.

Men, if you are a Christian, you are to live by another set of values and standards, a different guide, a different set of rules. Real men say " no" to dangerous desires because of who they are!

2. Real men say "no" because of what they know they want. (v. 11b)

Peter says these desires "wage war against the soul". The phrase means to conduct a military campaign. It means that your lower nature, your sensual desires are absolutely committed to destroying and terminating any progress you might make toward your highest goals. The campaign led by the NATO forces in attacking Serbia was calculated to strategically strike targets of the Serbian forces in order to render them incapable of continuing their own war of aggression against the Kosovo people. Our lower nature is equally capable of targeting you and me to ruin us and cripple us form being the kind of examples we should be.

For instance if you desire a wonderful marriage then your desires will work to encourage you to destroy it. If you want to be a good parent then your lower nature will target places where you will be ineffective. If want to be a good employee then you will find yourself battling constantly that goal. If you want to truly walk with the Lord then you are in for the fight of your life! Whatever is your highest desire that is where your sensual lower desires will make their point of attack. Whatever you desire that’s highest that’s where the attack comes.

There is never a time when we can let down our guard. The tense of the verb "wage war" is a present tense meaning it is continual. The battle isn’t over until we rest in Jesus. David fell when he was in mid-life. Noah failed in his elderly years. We are in the greatest danger of all when we think we are safe. When a guy begins to think that this could never happen to him, then he needs to think again. Joe Aldrich, president of Multnomah School of the Bible, made a statement that should send a literal chill down our spine. Aldrich said, "Have you ever noticed how many men in the Bible failed in the second half of life? Our enemy is so cunning that he will wait forty or even fifty years to set a trap." A lifetime of good can be completely destroyed by one act of failure.

Do you know what you want? Then say "no" the traps of your own flesh because what you want—a good dad, husband, business man, man of God—is highest, greatest and best.

Real men say "no" because they know what they want.

3. Real men say "no" because they know who is watching. (v. 12)

Peter was painfully aware of what unbelievers were saying about Christians. They refused to be part of what their culture said was right. Christians were despised in Peter’s day because their commitment to Christ prohibited them from participating in the things that others did. Because they refused to worship idols and other gods they were called "haters of mankind." They were accused of being immoral, committing incest and cannibalism. They were described by one Roman historian as "loathed for their vices". They were thought to be a threat to the safety of the state and their doctrines mocked. This resulted in their persecution. So he says, "Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us" (v. 12 NIV). No matter what they say, keep living the life because some day they will notice. They are watching to see that you fail, so stay clean!

Men, what do they say about you because you say, "No!"? When you take a stand against those things our culture says is right but the word of God says it’s wrong. When you refuse to laugh at jokes that are vulgar and demeaning. When you refuse on a business trip to not join the group. When you decide that certain music, books, movies, TV shows and magazines are not appropriate for a Christian and are not going to be part of your life or your home. When you make your wife or family a priority and your company passes you by because you just aren’t "part of the team"? When you won’t cut corners in business? Do you get tired of their ridicule? Who is watching? Our friends, our neighbors, our family, our employees, our enemies, our children, our Lord. They are watching all of us to see how we are going to live.

Does a life of saying "no" bring a reward or does it make us only someone no one else wants to be around? Notice what he says in verse 12b, "…though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us." When we say, " no " they ultimately will say, "Yes, you were right."

Real men say no because they know who is watching.

Conclusion: Are you a real man? Real men say "no" because they know who they are-men totally under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Real men say "no" because they know what they want and there is nothing that is going to stop them from achieving that goal. Real men say "no" because they know who is watching.

Ask yourself: Am I consistently loosing the battle with my desires?

Am I in control or is that controlling me?

What desire am I not saying no to?

It’s time to be a real man—real men repent; ask Jesus to forgive them; and surrender to His lordship in that area.

Real men say "no" to dangerous desires to enable them to say "yes" to God’s best.

Real men say "No!!"

Sunday, June 20, 1999

Dr. Bruce Tippit, Pastor

First Baptist Church

Jonesboro, Arkansas