Come gather 'round chilluns and I'll tell you the story of the Grand Tour that Miz Patsy and I made back in June of '01. 2001, that is. We fearlessly and foolishly piled on the Hawg and headed out into the land of no grits nor turnips greens, cheerfully going where good ole boys and gals rarely ever go (voluntarily).

Our expedition, as documented in the following photos, followed a route originating here in beautiful downtown Mt. Juliet and thence to such places as Evansville, Chicago, Milwaukee, Green Bay, Duluth, Minneapolis, Madison, Springfield, Metropolis, and finally back here to the land of the Great Waffle House.


Day One Here's a picture of My favorite Ya-Hoo, drinking a Yoo-Hoo, at our first rest stop, Crofton, Kentucky. Notice, please, that I provide only the very best of accommodations while traveling on the Hawg.

We scooted thru Chicago about 8pm Friday night, along Lakeshore Drive, all pooped out and finding no place to stay. Wound up in Lincolnwood, where someone stole my doo-rag. Good thing I have plenty of doo-rags.....

Next morning it was off towards Milwaukee along the western shore of Lake Michigan, passing through Kenosha, where we stopped for a look at the new downtown harbor area. Nice lighthouse.

Menominee After spending a rainy night in Fond-u Lac, WI (that's Indian, for "we got no pot to dip that stuff in!"), it was off towards Green Bay and the really scenic part of the trip. Every indian reservation has nice roads, nice parks, and a casino. We sampled the former two, and passed on the latter. Here's a picture of the Menominie Indian Reservation. Their casino looks like 6 double-wide trailers welded end-to-end.

North many, many deer-laden miles (those suckers jump out JUST when you least expect it), and into northwestern Michigan and Eagle River Falls. Patsy finds the Keys to the Kingdom. The prize celebre. The pot-o-gold at the end of the trail. Keys to the bathroom. Across the street is a much-needed cafe. You may notice, from the sign, why we elected to pass it up. A few too many irons in the fire.

Just up the road we saw our first bear, sauntering along the side of the road.

Duluth, Minnesota, where summer comes each and every July 7th through 9th, regardless.

Superior, Wisconsin, Sister City right across the bay from Duluth. But not a bit warmer.

This stuff all fit in here when we left home, dang it.

Judge Bubba, replete with Designer Rain Gear, checks the map somewhere north of the Menominee Indian reservation.

Where ARE we, anyway?!??

Next year, we're going in our new MotorHome..

Next stop was due to be Minneapolis/St. Paul. After a really good lunch on the Chippewa Indian Reservation, we were within 30 miles of our destination, when it got suspiciously dark, and the local (Houghton, Wis.) tornado sirens went off.

Naturally, we did what most folks sensible would do when confronted with a similar emergency - stopped at a 7-Eleven store and had a couple of ice cream sandwiches while waiting for that sucker to pass overhead. Patsy took this opportunity to point the storm out to me, in case I wasn't paying attention. I was.

As soon as the tornado passed us bye, we jumped back on the scooter and beat a path across the river just as fast as that puppy will run, and into St. Paul. Before we could find a place to stay, another really bad storm front bore down on us. You could see the lightning striking the tall buildings in downtown St. Paul.

Pulled off at the very first opportunity and into the parking lot of what turned out to be a brand-spanking-new motel, the AmericInn. A new chain in the mid-west. Anyway, it was so new that not only were we one of the first guests, but they still had corporate staff on premises getting things set up. We were unloading the saddle bags when the next raindrops began to fall. Had not been in the room 90 seconds when the phone rang, and it was the front desk. "Better come move your sickle, it's gonna hail", says the man. When I get back out front, they have moved their little porch furniture out into the parking lot and invited me to park under the small canopy at the front door. Which I did, of course. And hail it did!

Wonderful service - and not only did they have a complimentary Continental Breakfast, they also had a complimentary Continental Happy Hour (free beer, wine, and shacks) that evening.

You might see the furniture moved back into place on the stoop, as we loaded to leave the following morning.

Next stop - the Wisconsin Dells, being Dairyland's answer to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. On the obligatory boat ride, we saw a bald eagle and a rock formation called Eagle's Beak.

Last photo - lunch in El Paso, Illinois enroute home. The license plate says it all.


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