I got this off of a web site a while back, and I've changed it a little bit. Enjoy!
Simple ways to determine if you've been a ham radio operator too long.
You start calling CQ in your sleep.
You taught your dog to communicate by barking Morse Code (and he can do it at 50 WPM.)
During field day, you fix lunch by throwing a brisket over a wire antenna for your kilowatt 23-cm transmitter.
By the time you've made a few contacts...fajitas!
Your kids have their Extra class tickets by the time they're seven.
During a landline phone conversation, you attempt to press the side of the phone handset when it's you're turn to talk.
People mistake your car for a giant porcupine.
When ending a phone call, you say: "73," give your callsign and say "clear."
Your QSL card collection is thicker than ten Houston phone books.
You bought the house next door just so you would have space for all your radios and antennas.
Your local ham radio store already has a parking space with your callsign printed on it, and they are getting ready to offer you partial ownership.
The noises from your car air conditioner sounds like 40M CW.
When buying a house, your primary concern is power line noise and antenna restrictions.
Your daughters first words are: "CQ CQ CQ".
You take the grandparents money gift to your three-year-old son, and "invest" it for him in a 75 foot tower.
You leave the boss's BBQ party early to meet a 2M net schedule, where you check in for the "count only".
You are certain that heaven will be a continuous Hamfest.
You firmly believe that the Dayton Hamvention should be declared a 3-day holiday.
You KNOW hanger 18 contains a top secret two-foot long antenna made from a coat hanger which has 100db gain on all HF bands.
The postman thinks you are a spy because of all of the cards you get from overseas with funny numbers on them.
You remember 500 call signs, but forget your XYL's birthday.
Your friends think you're crazy to invest $1000+ in a radio.
Your radio equipment is worth more than your new car.
You do not want your shack to be endommaged by a lightning strike, but the house can go to ashes...
You hear CW or SSB even when the radio is off.
You believe you hear stations in the white noise even when the antenna is disconnected.
You view every house you drive by as a potential QTH.
You look at car license plates automatically for ham plates.
You call the new Extra Class licensees "lite".
You view every mountain peek as your next QTH.
You still think that a ham with the "N" as his second letter, as a Novice.
If someone interrupts you, you tell them to "stand by".
You tell your wife to use full break in when the two of you talk.
You wonder how all of these 1x3 calls forgot everything they learned.
You absentmindedly start logging you unanswered CQ's.
You remember how to draw a colpits circuit.
You call CQ and announce "tuning".
If you still resent the idea of someone starting numbers on 10 meters.
The "new bands" are really new.
You fondly remember the warm glow from your rig that kept your room warm in the winter time.
You're glad that there is only one Yemen.
When you look at your P5 QSL's, you still wonder what the hell Romeo was thinking.
You are already planning what kind of operating you'll be doing, and the antenna's you'll need at the next sunspot minimum.
You're better at geography than geography teachers.
You naturally think of the Earth's surface as unbounded and finite.
You took calculus and were relieved to see DX'ing would be part of it.
You wonder which Christmas Island do they mean?
You've bought and sold 40 radios, and still have not found 'the perfect radio'.
You needed a parcel about 1/4 mile long for that Rhombic antenna you never installed.
You replace your coax cables about every 3 years just in case you might suffer a DB loss of receive signal.
You were forced to cut a deal with kids not to transmit during the 'Rug Rats' program.
You asked permission of the XYL for another radio purchase even though you have plenty of money.
You have 2 jobs, just so you can afford that brand new rig.
You research every technical article you can find, thinking you may not know of something that may affect your stations performance.
You're eyeballing one of the kids bedrooms for your radio shack over the 'closet' you have now.
You bought a backup generator about 4 kw larger than needed to support the QTH during a long term power outage.
You stop at a rest area on the highway and wonder why they don't mark repeater coverage on the maps in the glass cases.