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Issue 103 — DECEMBER 2001

Monthly Newsletter of the Southern Oregon Amateur Radio Club

SOARC, P.O. BOX 1164, GRANTS PASS, OREGON 97528
VISIT THE SOARC WEBSITE AT: http://www.qsl.net/soar/SOARC/
EDITOR: MIKE WRIGHT, N7GEI, 432 GRANDVIEW AVE., G. P., OR 97527
PHONE: 541-471-0440 E-MAIL: n7gei@msn.com

The President's Corner

Christmas! That is right, it is Christmas, and that means another year is coming to an end.  We have had many things to reflect on this year and the time is upon us to act on some of them.  My wish for all of you in the radio club is for peace and happiness at this time and for the rest of this and the coming year.  Public and personal events in all of our lives bring us to face our humanity.  Full on and in full public for some of us.  These events are tests to see how we measure up.  Everyone I know in the radio club stands head and shoulders above the selfish and the self-centered.   The radio club gives all of us a chance to see and touch each other on a regular basis.  The radio club is an excuse for all of you great people to get together.  Ham radio is an extension of your willingness to be part of a bigger picture.  I respect all of you for that.  I wish all the best for you this holiday season!

I hope to see you at the Christmas party!

73, Jim, WA6OTP

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2001 SOARC Officers and Board

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Welcome From Your Editor

The SOARC Christmas party/potluck is coming up this Tuesday! It will commence at 1800 at the Redwood Grange on Redwood Avenue in Grants Pass. Bring a dish and your own table service. If you wish to be included in the gift exchange, bring a gift of no more than $5.00 in value. Santa will be there to oversee the exchange madness! Please call Ann Randall at 476-2456 to let her know what you are bringing or to get an idea of what to bring. You will get lots to eat and have lots of fun!

If you have anything to submit for publication in the Gnus, see the contact information below the masthead.

73, Mike, N7GEI

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 NEXT CLUB MEETING
CHRISTMAS POTLUCK
& GIFT EXCHANGE
TUESDAY, 18 DECEMBER
1800
REDWOOD GRANGE
REDWOOD AVENUE
GRANTS PASS

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Coming Attractions

The January meeting will feature the election of officers and board members. The current slate of officials has agreed to run again, with the exception of Board Member Gary Ingram. Warren Olney, KB7EKF, is seeking Gary's spot on the board. Nominations from the floor will be accepted before the elections are conducted.

73, Bill Tyner, WX7U

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Calling All Ladies

Western Belles is a women's ham radio chat group that meets at 7:30 PM on the 1^st and 3^rd Thursdays of every month on the 147.300 repeater. Please check in!

The ladies get together regularly for lunch and all female hams are invited to attend. The next luncheon will be at 11:30 on Saturday, January 5th, at The Royal Barge Thai Cuisine, 120 SW H Street, Grants Pass.

73, Wilma, W1LMA, and Anita, KC7MGH

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2002 VE Exams

Here are the dates for SOARC-sponsored ARRL VE license exams for 2002.  This is how it appears on the KK1A website that Karl issues bi-monthly.   Mark them down if your kids have sent you your 2002 calendar already! Walk-ins are welcome.

February 22

May 31

August 30

November 29

Come by and test your code speed.  SOARC still offers code speed certification tests, should you wish to prove you are faster than light.  So far, Fred Schott has proven it.  Right now, he is faster than anyone else in SOARC!

73, Bill Tyner, WX7U

VE Liaison

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QST de W1AW

ARRL Bulletin 53  ARLB053

From ARRL Headquarters 

Newington CT  November 30, 2001

To all radio amateurs

New Amateur Extra class question pool released

The National Conference of Volunteer Examiner Coordinators' Question Pool Committee has released a revised and expanded Amateur Extra class (Element 4) question pool into the public domain. The new question pool becomes effective July 1, 2002, and must be used to generate all Extra class written examinations administered on or after that date. It replaces the Extra class question pool released April 15, 2000--the day Amateur Radio ''restructuring'' became effective.

The new Element 4 pool expands the number of questions by more than 20 percent--806 questions--as opposed to 665 in the current Extra class pool, and it contains more technical material. More than half of the questions cover electrical principles, circuits, signals, and emissions.

The 50 questions in an Extra class examination are drawn from the question pool consistent with FCC rules and according to a formula that specifies the number of questions to be asked from each of nine topic areas. Applicants must correctly answer at least 37 questions to pass.

The new Element 4 question pool is available on the ARRL Web site, http://www.arrl.org/arrlvec/pools.html. The just-released Extra class question pool will remain valid through June 30, 2005.

The Question Pool Committee now will turn its attention to developing an outline for the Technician class (Element 2) question pool. A draft Element 2 syllabus is scheduled for public release and comment next spring. The QPC invites suggestions for the Element 2 syllabus and question pool revision.

Questions and comments about the QPC's work can be directed to:
Chairman Scotty Neustadter, W4WW, w4ww@arrl.net
ARRL VEC Manager Bart Jahnke, W9JJ, vec@arrl.org
Fred Maia, W5YI, w5yi@w5yi.org
John Johnston, W3BE, johnston.john1@worldnet.att.net

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Things That Make You Go Hmmm?

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those  little bottles of Evian water?   Try spelling Evian backwards. NAIVE

Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

OK...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

There are three religious truths:

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages?  Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person  who drives a race car not called a racist?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

What hair color do they put on the drivers' licenses of bald men?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

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Top Cat

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats
were.  The first man was an engineer, the second man
was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the
fourth man was a government employee.

To show off, the engineer called to his cat,
"T-square, do your stuff".  T-square pranced over to a
desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew
a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

The accountant said his cat could do better.  He called
his cat and said "Spreadsheet, do your stuff".

Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned
with a dozen cookies.  He divided them into four equal
piles.

Everyone agreed that was good.

The chemist said his cat could do better.  He called
his cat and said "Beaker, do your stuff".   Beaker got
up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of
milk, got a 10-ounce glass from the cupboard and
poured exactly eight ounces of milk without spilling a
drop. Everyone agreed that was good.

Then the three men turned to the government employee
and said, "What can your cat do?"  The employee called
to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff".

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies,
drank the milk, peed on the paper, sexually assaulted
the three other cats, claimed he injured his back
while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe
working conditions, put in for worker's compensation
and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

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More Workplace Reality

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow are hired
at a construction site.

The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to
the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."

To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."

And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. 
I expect you guys to make a big dent in that pile."
So the foreman goes away for a couple of hours and when
he returns, the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"

The Italian replies, "I no have no broom.  You saida to
the Chinese afella that he awasa ina charge ofa supplies,
but he hasa disappeared and I nocouldafinda him nowhere."
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says,
"And you? I thought I told you to shovel this pile."

The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay
get meself a hovel!  Ye left th' Chinese laddie in chairge of
supplies, boot ahcouldnay fin' him either."

The foreman is real angry now, and storms off toward
the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.  Just then,
the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand
and yells - "SUPPLIES"!

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Penny Pinchers

How was copper wire discovered?

Simple. Two hams fighting over a penny.

(Thanks George, KC7JJG)

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AAADD

I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD--Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it goes:

I decide to clean off the front patio. I start to the patio and notice mail on the desk that needs to be taken down to the Post Office.

OK, I'm going to the Post Office, BUT FIRST I'm going to go through the mail that was delivered. I lay the car keys down on desk. After discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full.

OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk. BUT FIRST I'll take the trash out. But since I'm going to be near the mailbox, I'll address a few bills.

Yes, now where is the checkbook? Oops, there's only one check left. Where did I put the extra checks?

Oh, there is my empty coffee cup from last night on my desk. I'm going to look for those checks. BUT FIRST I need to put the cup back in the kitchen.

I start to head for the kitchen and look out at my balcony, noticing the flowers need a drink of water because of the extreme heat. I put the cup on the counter and there's my extra pair of glasses on the kitchen counter. What are they doing here? I'll just put them away. BUT FIRST I need to water those plants.

I head for the door and - aaagh! Someone left the TV remote on the wrong spot. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the plants on my balcony. BUT FIRST I need to find those checks.

END OF DAY: The patio has not been cleaned, bills still unpaid, cup still on the counter, checkbook still has only one check left, lost my car keys, and when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because

I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY!

I realize this condition is serious; I'd get help, BUT FIRST . . . I think I'll check my e-mail.

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