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The Empire's An Outrage
A Star Wars Parody
lyrics 1993 by Dr. H. Paul Shuch
sung to the tune of "The Cruel War is Raging" (traditional)

click to hear melody Click on the speaker icon to hear this melody

Filker's Note: So what's this Star Wars song doing in a collection of Star Trek Ditties? Well, I'll tell ya... It's included in honor of my mother, who still says, "Star Trek, Star Wars, what's the difference?"

LEAH:

The Empire's an outrage,
Solo will not fight
I want him here with me,
The Force says it's right.
I want him here with me,
To serve the Rebels so
Won't you stay and defend me?

HAN:

No Princess, no.

LEAH:

The battle is Tuesday,
Monday is the day
The Millennium Falcon
Will carry you away.
You're running from battle
It grieves my heart so.
Won't you stay and defend me?

HAN:

No Princess, no.

LEAH:

I'll wind up my hair
Funny clothing I'll put on,
I can pass as a 'droid
As we rumble along.
I'll pass as your android,
No one will ever know.
Won't you stay and defend me?

HAN:

No Princess, no.

LEAH:

I know Ben Kenobe
Is driven by a force,
To stay and fight with him
Is suicide of course.
You'll probably just
Take your Wookie and go.
Won't you stay and defend me?

HAN:

No Princess, no.

LEAH:

Han Solo, you must be
Out of your freakin' mind
For I love you far better
Than Luke and his kind.
I find you quite sexy
(Though Jedi are the best).
Won't you stay and undress me?

HAN:

(spoken): I have a bad feeling about this . . .
(sung): Yes dammit, yes.

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this page last updated 14 June 2007
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