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The First Novell
lyrics 1995 by Dr. H. Paul Shuch
to the tune of "The First Noel" (traditional Christmas carol)

click to hear melody Click on the speaker icon to hear this melody

The first Novell
Was a cobbled up thing,
Half a dozen XT's
In a closed token ring.
And whenever it was up
Then the sysop had fits
For it just kept on dropping
Great buckets of bits.

CHORUS:

Novell, Novell, Novell, Novell.
The local area network from hell.

It had memory minute,
System overhead huge,
And with negative throughput
Was really a kluge.
But the worst result of all
As the packets went 'round
Were the stock error messages:
"Token not found."

I will opt for Ethernet
Or a wireless LAN
Using RF spread spectrum
Whenever I can.
Using Netware will assure
An inoperative node:
You would think it was written
In Microsoft code!

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this page last updated 14 June 2007
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