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Feminist Threes
lyrics 2002 by Dr. H. Paul Shuch
Sung to the tune of "Threes" by Leslie Fish

click to hear melody Click on the speaker icon to hear this melody

Mama's in the kitchen right where all good wives belong.
Papa's at the hi-fi now, just listening to a song,
The kids are doing homework. After dinner, they're to bed.
Enjoy it, Joe, because you know this way of life is dead.
Three things never question: that the man will roam the range,
That woman stays home faithful, and that things are gonna change.

Papa reads the paper. He has nothing much to say.
Mama brings him coffee, and she asks "how was your day?"
But Papa just ignores her, so she turns and walks away.
She knows she should just keep on walking, and she will, one day.

Three things Mama knows are what she's gonna have to do,
How Papa will regret it, and that he don't have a clue.
Mama took a job today, to earn some extra dough.
Se's got to get home early so that Papa will not know.
He'd never let her have some extra money on the shelf
'Cause if she did, he'd have to let her manage it herself.
Three things are inviolate: the man must rule the home,
The woman is his servant, and he'll soon end up alone.

Papa comes home late because he's having an affair.
Mama should confront him, but you know she wouldn't dare.
Because the man is stronger, the woman lives in fear.
That's always how it's been, and nineteen sixty one's the year.

Three things soon to change that neither Mom or Papa knows:
The music their kids listen to, their hairstyle, and their clothes.

Mama took her bra off and she tossed it on the flames.
Papa asked his drinking buddies "What is with these dames?
Can't they tell we love them? Just look how hard we work.
I don't know what 'mystique' is, but Friedan is such a jerk."

Three things you can count on: Mama's doing a slow burn,
She got the shaft for twenty years, and now it's Papa's turn.

Papa's been divorced now for about a dozen years.
His rebound is immediate; he has no time for tears.
His trophy wife, who's young and blonde and really quite a dish,
Just went off on her bicycle, a-looking for a fish.

Three things Papa contemplates: all women are the same,
You cannot live without them, and they'll all drive you insane.

Mama's still alone, but she's much stronger than before
Because she's learned a thing or two since Pop walked out the door.
She's learned how to support herself. She's doing rather well
Without that alimony check, so Pop can go to hell.

Three things she's discoverd: that the kids and her are grown,
They all came out just fine, and they can make it on their own.

Papa is a grandpa now. He's winding down his life.
He tells his eldest grandson, "you go out and find a wife
Who's strong and independent. If you love her, let her be.
To hold her, give her freedom, or you'll just end up like me."

Three things Papa's learned are that it never is too late
To change your mind, to change the world, to change your children's fate.

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this page last updated 14 June 2007
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