Top Ten Things Not to Say to a Cop When You're Pulled Over

• Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

• Wanta race to the station, Sparky?

• I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!

• Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

• You'll never get those cuffs on me...You Pussy!

• I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

• Bad cop! No donut!

• How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

• Hey officer is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

• I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Doughnuts has a 3 for 1 special!

• I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around-that's how far ahead of me they are.

• What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

• Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

• No officer, I don't know how fast I was going.... The little needle stops at 150

• (In a slurred & mumbled voice): "Is there an officer, problem?"