Acura Integra | I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars |
Acura Legend | I'm too bland for German cars |
Acura NSX | I am impotent |
Audi 90 | I enjoy putting out engine fires |
Austin Healey Sprite | I like people telling me how cute my sports car is * |
Buick Grand National/GNX | I am Lord Vader's apprentice * |
Buick Park Avenue | I am older than 34 of the 50 states |
Cadillac Eldorado | I am a very good Mary Kay salesman |
Cadillac Seville | I am a pimp |
Chevrolet Camaro | I enjoy beating up people |
Chevrolet Chevette | I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette |
Chevrolet Corvette | I'm in a mid life crisis |
Chevrolet El Camino | I am leading a militia to overthrow the government |
Chrysler Cordoba | I dig the rich Corinthian leather |
Datsun 280Z | I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well |
Dodge Challenger | There are only speed limits if the cops can catch you * |
Dodge Dart | I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower |
Dodge Daytona | I delivered pizza for four years to get this car |
Ford F100 | I am familiar with the taste of Opossum * |
Ford Fairmont | (See Dodge Dart) |
Ford Mustang | I slow down to 85 in school zones |
Ford Crown Victoria | I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them |
Geo Storm | I will start the 11th grade in the Fall |
Geo Tracker | I will start the 12th grade in the Fall |
Honda del Sol | I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all |
Honda Accord | I lack any originality and am basically a lemming |
Honda Civic | I have just graduated and have no credit |
Honda CRX | I have three speeding tickets and no muffler * |
Infiniti Q45 | I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending |
Innocenti Spyder | I am dating an Italian mechanic * |
Isuzu Impulse | I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports |
Jaguar XJ6 | I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year |
Kia Sephia | I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp |
Lincoln Town Car | I live for bingo and covered dish suppers |
Grand Marquis | (See above) |
Lotus | |
Mercedes 500SL | I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph |
Mercedes 560SEL | I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole |
Mazda Miata | I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen wheeler |
MGB | I am dating a mechanic |
Mitsubishi 3000GT/Dodge Stealth | I look fast even if I never go above 65 * |
Mitsubishi Diamante | I don't know what it means either |
Mitsubishi Eclipse | I seriously enjoy racing Civics and Integras * |
Nissan 300ZX | I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings |
Nissan Maxima | See Cadillac Seville * |
Oldsmobile Cutlass | I just stole this car and I'm going to make a burger run |
Peugeot 505 Diesel | I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List |
Plymouth Neon | I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena |
Plymouth Prowler | 35 years ago I couldn't afford to hot rod a 32 Ford * |
Plymouth Valiant | My grandchildren are graduating from college * |
Pontiac Fiero | My father owns a mint '65 Corvair * |
Pontiac Trans AM | I have a switchblade in my sock |
Porsche 944 | I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me |
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow | I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal |
Saturn SC2 | (See Honda Civic) |
Suburu Forester | I'm smart enough to know I'm not going off-roading * |
Subaru Legacy | I have always wanted a Japanese car even more |
Toyota Camry | I am still in the closet |
Toyota Celica | I bought this car off my girlfriend when my Mustang broke |
Volkswagon Beetle | I still watch Partridge Family reruns |
Volkswagen New Beetle | My boyfriend co-signed for this car * |
Volkswagon Cabriolet | I am out of the closet |
Volkswagon Microbus | I am tripping right now |
Volvo 740 Wagon | I am frightened of my wife |
Volvo DL, 240 | Howard Hughes was too risky in his later years * |
Last update: 8 Aug. 2001