AUDI | Accelerates Under Demonic Influence |
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented | |
BMW | Beautiful Mechanical Wonder |
Beautiful Masterpiece on Wheels | |
Break My Windows | |
Brutal Money Waster | |
Big Money Waste | |
Broken Money Waster | |
Blasphemes Motorized Wreck | |
Born Moderately Wealthy | |
Big Money Works | |
Bought My Wife | |
Brings Me Women | |
BUICK | Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer |
Big Ugly Import Car Killer | |
CHEVY | Change Heads, Engine, or Valves Yearly |
Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet | |
Your Vehicle Expels Hydro-Carbons - (Backwards) | |
CHEVROLET | Cranks Hard Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time |
Cracks Heads Eats Valves Races Only Little Electric Toys | |
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips | |
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips | |
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time | |
DODGE | Drinks Oil, Drops Gears Everywhere |
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere | |
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires | |
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter | |
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater | |
FIAT | Fix It Again Tony |
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation | |
Failure In Automotive Technology | |
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology | |
Fix It All the Time | |
Found In A Toilet | |
FORD | Fix Or Repair Daily |
First On Race Day | |
First On Recall Day | |
Flip Over Read Directions | |
Found On the Road - Dead | |
Found Off Road Daily | |
Fast Only Rolling Downhill | |
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto | |
Freakin Off Road Disaster | |
Freakin Ornery Road Demon | |
Freakin Off Road Demon | |
F***ed On Race Day | |
F***ed Over Road Debris | |
F***ed Over Rebuilt Dodge | |
F***en Owner Really Dumb | |
F***en Over Rated Disaster | |
F***er Only Runs Downhill | |
Driver Returns On Foot - (Backwards) | |
First On Rust and Deterioration | |
Fault Of R&D | |
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA | |
GM | General Maintenance |
GMC | Garage Mans Companion |
Generally Mediocre Cars | |
Get More Chicks | |
Get More Crap | |
Gotta Mechanic Coming? | |
HONDA | Had One Never Did Again |
HYUNDAI | Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive |
JAGUAR | Just Another Gearbox Under Annual Repair |
JEEP | Just Empty Every Pocket |
Just Enough Extra Parts | |
LOTUS | Lots Of Troubles Usually Serious |
Lots Of Tits Und Sex | |
Leaking Oil Tears Up Starter | |
Lectronics Or Timing Usually Shorts | |
Send Us Tips On Lucas - (Backwards) | |
MAZDA | Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along |
MG | More Garbage |
Mostly Garbage | |
MOPAR | Mostly Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously |
Mostly Old Parts And Rust | |
Mostly Old Paint And Rust | |
Most Often Passed At Races | |
Move Over People Are Racing | |
OLDSMOBILE | Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday |
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment | |
Plymouth | Please Let Your Mother Out from Under The Hood |
Pontiac | Poor Old Nut Thinks It's A Cadillac |
Porsche | Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything |
SAAB | Swedish Automobile - Always Broken |
Such An Arrogant Bastard | |
Send Another Automobile Back | |
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown | |
Some Ass Actually Bought it | |
TOYOTA | Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto |
VOLVO | Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object |
Vehicles Of Low Velocity Ownership | |
VW | Virtually Worthless |
Thanks to Ricky, Chris, Jarrett, Rick, Jon and Ken for contributions...
Last update: 11 Aug. 2003