If your laid off
What you should do if your laid off
these ideas are just jokes please don't take them seriously
Take pictures
This is always a good idea even if you know you have good job security.
when your company has Christmas party's,picnics or luncheons; be sure to take as many
group photos as you can with your higher up managers. if possible take some with
your arms around your managers or shaking hands (managers love to shake hands).
once you have the pictures pick the best one and have it enlarged and printed
on a white T-shirt. when you have this shirt always carry it with you at all times
at work. when you think your days are numbered ware it underneath your regular shirt.
If you are marched into the conference room to be lay-ed off immediately ware the shirt
with the big photo and look real sad. be sure to shake and give your managers a hug
with a real sad face and your shirt with your upper managers and you smiling.
Pan handle
If your are laid off stand outside or near your work place with a sign saying "just laid off and broke"
and a cup for spare change. walk around and try to bug anyone entering your former work place. you probably
wont get any money but that isn't the whole point of the matter anyways. the whole plan is to make the former
employees feel guilty as much as possible.
Fake a heart attack
when you are told that you no longer work for your employer immediately faint and fall down on the floor.
if you are light weight and a heart attack might not be to believable drop on the floor and convolute like someone
that is epileptic.
Cause traffic jams
remember when your are laid off the common working person is your enemy your are no longer
one of them. they are there to pay your unemployment. get your old junkie car and have it break down
during rush hour especially near your former employers.
Email your resume
email your resume 500 times to your former employer. when there is a job fair and your former employer is
there be sure to bug the crap out of them and all of the people that are interested in your old company. register
as many free email addresses as you can change the name on all of them and change the name on the resume. then send
your resume again 500 times again from all of the different email address to your former employer.