Far be it from me to add fuel to the fire of speculation or gossip, but I think I need to straighten this out, at least partially.

Actually, I can now admit that Brian and I are twins, separated at birth during the alien abduction. After a period of three months, he was returned to Easter Island (I've heard there are still likenesses of him there) where he was worshiped as a god-from-the-sky. However, after the first little "accident" -- remember his nickname -- the primitive native shamans unceremoniously abandoned him on the beach. Coincidently, one of our government's "black op." teams was deployed to investigate the UFO sighting on Easter Island. They tripped over him on the beach and initially mistook him for a clump of toxic radioactive waste. Laboratory experiments and DNA tests "saved" him, but serious side effects continue to linger. He was then smuggled thru Canada, ending up in a West BGVirginian safe house.

My story remains confidential, but one version indicates that I was found in a secluded section of the Austrian Alps by monks, facinated by what they thought was a meteorite entering the Earth's atmosphere. Upon discovery, I was quickly ushered away and quarantined for a time in a Vatican storage vault, (the Pope does know me!) then tucked safely into the hills of Eastern Tennessee. My presence became problematic during the controversial TVA flooding and implementation of hydroelectric power which was reputed to be a diversion away from the nuclear research at Oak Ridge. (I still don't go near Geiger counters.) It wasn't safe for me there anymore, I was given a new set of alias identities and relocated to Florida.

"Aron" is reputed to be an alias I use to login to the Art Bell web site, or when I need to mingle with Yankees interested in commercial real estate. I hasten to point out, though it may further confuse matters, there was NO "lisp" on the truffle fist last night... was there? I wonder?!