L.E.I.L.A. - Laser Equipment for Immediate Lid Annihilation!

Science article for 1 April 2003 by Dave, AD7DB

Technicians proudly inspecting the AO-40 satellite prior to launch. I guess now is as good a time as any to reveal the secret that the designers of AO-40 have kept quiet until now.

There exists on the AO-40 satellite a prototype anti-jammer device. It's called LEILA, which stands for Laser Equipment for Immediate Lid Annihilation!

It transmits a courtesy siren noise on the downlink frequency that the jammer is using, as a warning, and then fires a 10 terrawatt energy pulse at his QTH. If you have been a regular user of AO-40 you may have heard LEILA in action. What you may not have known until now was WHY you often never heard that jammer since. This is why.

LEILA firing on an inconsiderate Denver ham. This image from Denver was taken while LEILA was firing on an inconsiderate ham who was using too much power on the uplink.

Strange effects on high altitude clouds caused by thermal effects of the laser. The odd holes in the high altitude cloud layer caused by the incredible thermal effects of the laser burst. This is something the government's been trying to keep quiet about, and it's raised some attention at some conspiracy websites.

LEILA trashes the flea market at last year's Dayton Hamvention. Unfortunately it's not always safe to hang around a lot of hams. This was the scene at last year's Dayton Hamvention. Some lid in the flea market area was showing off his mobile satellite setup and attracted the attention of LEILA, which tried to zero in on the guy. He ceased transmitting, but not before the orbital laser had burned up several rows of vendors while trying to pinpoint his location. He was thrown out by Security and the hams in the area made it clear he's not welcome to come around to any of their activities again.

Have a Happy April, you fool!

Dave Bartholomew
Copyright © 2003 David G. Bartholomew, AD7DB
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